Gratitude and Trust

These are two things that I decided over the weekend I should try to incorporate into my life a little more. Being grateful goes a long way, and I've usually been pretty good at recognizing that I am really blessed, but lately have lost some of that. Something that goes along with that equally is expressing that gratitude, even for the smallest things, and doing so in a timely manner. So, adding to my "I'm going to be even more awesome someday if I do these things" list, I am adding gratitude and the expressing of it.
Trust, well that may take me some time because I usually act in a guarded way because I'm just cautious like that...a deeply ingrained personality flaw that hasn't always served me badly per se, but could use some tweaking maybe. I read a good article about discovering the power of trust that gave me some things to think about just now and a good quote from it taken from Goethe, "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be." The article's author was trying to illustrate that sometimes we need to trust people to be more than what they are in order for them to rise to the occasion, so to say. There's more to it than that, but maybe some of you have had a person in your life who believed in you when you didn't believe in yourself. Trusted you to be more than you thought you could be or do things better than you thought you could do them. I have. It was inspiring and motivating, something that has made a lasting impression on me. So, when I talk about trust I'm not saying I'm necessarily going to trust more in the typical sense of the word (for now) as much as trust in people's abilitiy to be more than comes at face value. Now...glad you read that one aren't you. And, b.t.w. I love Natalie Merchant's voice...she rocks!

Road Trip

I'm not sure if a road trip with a toddler would be fun or not....but I really want to go on one. I don't really have a destination in mind, and it probably isn't the best time of year for that, but I've had this craving to go somewhere lately....and every time I hear certain songs it makes it worse....like this song by Nickelback....it makes me want to go.

Feed the birds

So, the weather here in S.G. has been nearly sinful as beautiful as it has been....so I have taken advantage of it lately with my little sidekick Adam and gone outside to play more. It's made me a little Spring-sick however. Today after playing at the nearby park, we got lunch with Mike and went and had a family picnic and feed some local fowl at a golf course pond.....As you can see from the pictures, we had fun and there was an abundance of said fowl to feed.

They were actually pretty friendly too.....I recommend them over the birds at the St. George golf course because those suckers are way too aggressive. Anyhoo....it was a fun afternoon and I was surprised that Adam didn't freak out when the geese got close. He actually feed them pretty well for his first time, and even let a few eat right from his hand. He really wanted to get into the water with the ducks though, so next time we'll have to bring the back leash thingy we bought for such times as these.

I recommend this to anyone who's looking for a new and cheap activity to do with the kids....or adults who think they are still kids....either way, buy your bread from the bread store on the blvd. because you can get it cheap and take more than one loaf because these suckers are hungry hungry hippos and 1 loaf goes fast. It was the Bloomington Hills golf course b.t.w.

Oh my aching back

I'm starting to get annoyed at my back because for the past week + it's been keeping me down...literally. Over the weekend I had to stay on my back to give it a rest dr.'s orders. And it still hasn't totally let up. It's the weirdest thing because I honestly don't know what I did to make it hurt so bad, but it feels like I have a super nasty kinked neck in my back (that's the only way I can describe it). I've been to the accupunturist a couple of times (which is always a fun experiement in interpreting accents, they're Chinese and super nice) and the chiropractor...it's helped but still is there. Blah! I've come to realize that I get rather impatient when my body isn't up to par....I don't like feeling like crap (who does really) but I'm a bad sick person. I hate just laying around when there's so much to do in my home, not to mention a very rambunctious todler to keep up with. Well, I'm hoping that soon I will be able to get back into the swing of things and stop being a whiny cripple...boo hoo for me.

Not answering my phone

So....a few days ago I posted a status update on my facebook about my tendency to frequently not answer my phone and my lack of caring about it. Answering the phone has never been a priority in my family or life, and I was feeling frustrated because sometimes I feel that people expect me to change that aspect about myself. So, I will try to explain that here. The only person who depends on me right now is my son Adam.....the only other person I'm accountable to is my husband Mike. For those people, I must always try to be available....so they don't count in this explanation. For everyone else, I feel this.....there's always someone else that can fill in the blank. That takes away a lot of urgency to constantly have the phone at my side. I don't like being subject to the little devices and quite honestly feel that sometime they are rude or present us frequently with the opportunity to act rudely. When I'm talking to someone, unless it's important, I won't answer my phone to interupt that conversation. That's what voice mail is for, etc. And yeah, I don't get back to people who leave messages that well either....that's something that I realize I should work on, but again, I don't hover over my phone....it takes time to get the message (if you even realize one's been left) and then make the moment where it's good to call back....but I'll try. Now, there are those who are exceptionally available to the phone and are excellent and getting back to people and their lives aren't any less busy than mine. That's great! They've chosen that to be something they care about....I don't. Then there are just days or hours in a day where I don't want to talk...on the phone or anything else. So, why should I answer the phone if I don't want to talk. 99% of the calls I get are for just that reason, to talk. It's great on days I feel like doing it, but other days when I don't, I'm fine to not compromise that time to myself. Then there's just the consideration that I may be changing a poopy diaper and can't leave my son hanging out on the dresser to answer the phone, or am sitting on the throne and certainly am not interupting that to answer the phone, or am outside and don't have the phone with me, etc. etc. I just don't feel the need to always have the phone with me at all times in all places. So, joke all you want and say what you will....I'm not changing this about myself right now. Maybe someday the needs will change and that will cause an alteration in my habits....but for now, be content with the fact that I'm okay with not always being available and I don't mean it to be anything but that....I'm just not always available. And I never expect that from anyone else either.......not even my husband who literally has the phone glued to his ear 98% of the day....it's just not realistic to think that he wants to always talk to me when I want it. So, don't take offense or be disturbed by my behavior....it's just a quirk about me that I'm at peace with right now ;) (or course I take into consideration special times and needs when I do need to bite the bullet and be johnny on the spot with my phone). Thanks!

MOM

Well....5 years ago today on a sunny Sunday afternoon my dear mother Joy McLaws passed away after enduring 6 difficult months in the last stages of breast cancer. She found out that she had cancer when it was really too late to do much about it. Each year, my dear friend Hopie Clyde and I go to lunch (her treat) to remember my mom together. Hope knew my mom in a very personal way, practically like a daughter, so I enjoy this time we spend together sharing things. Since it fell on Sunday this year, we went to lunch yesterday. Hope always gets me a gift as a reminder of my mom. She's given me a bracelet, an ornament, a shirt, and other things usually related to breast cancer...and she always puts a lot of thought into it. This year, she again got the perfect thing and donated money to the Huntsman Cancer Foundation (yes I cried). I know she does this to honor my mom, but it is such a display of her great capacity to love others and care about them. Thanks Hopie! As I have reflected today on my mom's life and influence I have had my heart warmed by the fact that I truly had an amazing mother who taught me so much. Some of the many things she taught me were: how to be graceful when I need to be, how to laugh at myself, how to love and be loved, to enjoy beautiful music and experiences, to allow myself the opportunity to do better...hopefully I've encorporated some of this to my life. My mom really was an amazing woman to me in so many ways....talented, graceful, funny, forgiving, beautiful. I really could go on and on about her. Truly I was a blessed daughter to have her and my dad. When I asked her one day while taking care of her needs towards the end what she would do differently in life, she simply told me that she would worry less and that she would have spent more time playing with her children and not washing walls. I've tried to remind myself of these things often....hence, my home is often in disarray....but hopefully for the right reasons. I miss her being accessable, I miss her wisdom, but I know she is still very much a part of my life. One of my favorite memories of my mom was when she discovered the "butt bread" one night and how she started laughing so hard that she nearly fell to the floor....and then how she kept that piece of bread that resembled a butt and promised to preserve it and display it somehow as a funny reminder. She never got that far, but she did keep it and I found it preserved in a box of stuff while going through things one day....oh how I laughed. My mom brought such Joy into everyone's life....her name said it all.

So, my husband and men of my family have made it some kind of a tradition to go out Thanksgiving morning and shoot guns, blow stuff up, wreck old cars, etc. It's quite the display of redneck humor and fun (fun for them, humor for the rest of us). This year, however, looks like it will be a dud due to wet weather, but who knows? Anyhow, I wish y'all a happy Turkey day and hope that wherever you're at and whomever you are with, that you enjoy the time!